YOU CARE

What is is about the human being that causes us to be so cruel to others. We have a reasoning brain, capable bodies, feelings and emotions. What makes us think that we have the right to hurt someone else. We hurt other people because they don't look like us, don't act like us, or if people don't think like us. I find myself in the middle of all these battles (of words) between black and white issues, gay and straight issues, conservative and liberal issues, and religious differences, really any difference that we have we like to fight about. I believe that the founders of at least this country (USA) said, ok the government will let people live and do whatever they want, as long as they are not hurting anyone else, and don't fight. I don't understand why someone would get beat to a "bloody pulp" because they are white, black, gay, from a different religion, or in any other way not like the people around them. Why does someone being different than you, or feeling, or wanting something different than you excite so much violence in ones heart. Really, if you were the minority, would you want to be beat up for being (the majority now) white, prodestant, God fearing, blue collar worker. That sounds rediculous, right. Even right here in my own life my in-laws hate it that I choose not to eat pork. I just happen to not like it. But because food is so much a part of family gatherings it has made them mad that I would not eat the ham someone had prepared. Mad, what do they care what I put into my own body? They care, so why aren't they happy that I have made a healthier choice for me. My own mother is enraged that I have chosen to let my daughter, not only play with, but be good friends with my neighbor-who happens to be African-American and yes, they are really first generaltion from Africa. My mother thinks that I should teach my daughter to fear and hate people that are any darker than an Italian. This sound rediculous to me. I say, let people live and make there own choices, as long as they are not harming others. I say, if you think someone is "sinning" and not living the way that you think that they should don't beat them, love them-because if there actions or the way they look excites anger in you-you care, and you would never harm someone that you care about.

Cute, cute, cute!

I was getting the orderve tray ready for our thanksgiving feast and was just about to pull out the sweet midget pickles. My daughter looks in the fridge and says in a matter of fact tone, "mommy there is a jar of poo poos in the fridge."

My four year old was helping me with the dishes. She wanted to wash. I was rinsing. I kept telling her to wash the dishes. She says, "I am not done playing in the bubbles."

This morning my daughter came to me and was trying to get me to put a movie in for her. I told her that she needed to get dressed for preschool. She says while raising her arms one by one and then colapsing into the bed, "but my heart says it wants to play, play, play!" I went today and changed her from 5 days to 3 days.

Today my 4 year old could not button her pants. After a couple of attempts myself I told her they were too small, and she must have grown last night. She says, "yes mommy my butt grew last night."

Posterity

We love out children and we love our grandchildren. Well I don't have grandchildren yet, but I know I will love them. The thing is though we cannot make decisions for them. Everyone thinks that they can decide what there child is interested in, where they want to live, what they want to do for a living and whom they will marry. This is just not our decision. Our children spend a very small part of there lives living in our homes, eating our food, and not listening to a word their parents say. It is this short time that we must impart all the wisdom we can. A funny thing is though, they don't listen to words so we have to show them. Our actions influence our children much more than our words. So we spend this precious time showing them what is right, what is wrong, and how we think they should live there lives. But our children are not us. We cannot live through them. They have the right from God to do what they want to do-when they want to do it. Whether it is basketball in high school, verses music. Drama verses home-economics. Or track verses automechanics. If we make them do what we want them to do because of our own prejudices and reasons they will be unfulfilled adults. Because they make there own decisions as parents we should teach them how to make good decisions for themselves at an early age. I let my daughter be late for her preschool class so that she could be embarrassed enough to not be late again. I let her pick out her own clothes. And I let her decide (within reason) what she will eat, and if she will eat. She is learning to take responsibility for her decisions and I can see that her attitude is changing from a selfish and self-centered little girl, to a caring and loving individual. I see too many adults not able to make decisions for themselves, and when they do they make very bad choices. I hope that we can teach ourselves to make good decisions and teach our children as well. The world will be a much better place.

Football

Possibly the most boring sport on the planet. No excitement, no anticipation, you just watch a bunch of nicely built males (football players) and females (cheerleaders) strut around a very large piece of green turf. To get a good look you have to pay too much for a good seat. The tailgating, the traffic, the fake hoopla, the billion dollar stadium--I don't get it. Basketball is fun to watch. The game changes all the time, the players take risks, the cheerleaders are less noticeable. I think the only thing I like about football is a marching band half time show. You don't get that in professional games.

It has been a while

It has been almost three months since my last post. I have moved into a new home. Ok, new to me. I love it. One of the big changes in our house is that Bryan decided to get satillite so that we could get BYU TV. I get all those news stations now too. I thought I would feel more connected to the world watching news from around the world, but I only feel more disconnected and more confused. I was really confused the other night while I was watching BYU TV and you could tell it was old and then a prompter flashed saying "live from the salt palace." Yea everyone in Utah wears a mullet these days. I don't like most of the anchors on the 24 hour news casts. They make it all about them, and over dramatize the stories. And once you here one story everyone all day has to repeat the same details with the same enthusiasm as the first like they think you haven't heard it yet. What bothers me about reporters is that it seems like they want a dissaster to happen. They want people dead, and bad things happenning to people, because that's how they become stars. Needless to say I have not been watching as much news as I thought I would be. I have been watching alot of old movies as well. I have a really bad memory. Bryan will say, "remember when we watched this movie together?" I won't remember the stars, the title, the plot, or anything else about it unless I have seen it more than once. And I always have to watch it through because I can never remember the ending. I am always thinking 'this must be a deleted scene, because I can't remember this happening.' Another thing about having satillite is the childrens programing on the disney channels. If I hear one more time "a clue, a clue" blaring from the television I think I will go mad. One thing I am very grateful for and that is the lack of ESPN that has been on. We now can watch 5 or 6 channels of ESPN. Bryan is not watching any of them. It is great! I cannot stand to here details and talk about games, because I have found no value in anything in sports, but the immediate enjoyment of a good suspensful game in the moment- and only if it is live and I have a good seat (couches do not count). Speaking of, one of Bryan's client's is taking us to the Panther's football game tomorrow night. I hope his wife is fun to talk to, or we have good seats. I don't consider myself afraid of heights, but when you get into the nosebleed section of a professional football stadium--they don't call it nosebleed for nothing. I get very dizzy up there--yes more than I already am on solid ground Jason and David.

a day at Chucky Cheese's

Being a parent of one child is different than being a parent of many children. Although as a child I always wanted to have the parent that would go to any lengths to nuture, love, and spoil their child; I never wanted to be that parent. I was exhausted a month ago with potty training. In my complete frustration, candy did not work, I told her that if she could poop in the toilet for 7 days (marking them with a sticker) she could go to chucky cheese. Good idea. For the next 7 days she pooped in the toilet, and then we went. I spent two hours following my child around with a cup full of tokens while children screamed laughed games beeped all around me. What she most liked was the small carousel. I saw one father there by himself with three children. One was a sleeping infant. He was having his sons follow him to the gambling games while he played to get the most tickets. He did get alot of tickets. Hundreds. Then he would feed them through the counting machine and then go to the prize center. One mother also with an infant by herself let her 22 month old run around unsupervized. I found this out because the little girl had fallen off the slide in the small playground and was screaming for her mother. I was there to comfort her while 3 dad's looked on not knowing what to do. I found her mom and gave her back. I subsequently was found by her three more times while I was there asking where her mother was. She wasn't tall enough to see over the partitions and get back to her table. The chaos at times was deafening. But the kids loved it. Andrea loves it. My mistake was not sharing with my husband the reward program. Now he wants to take her just when he feels like it. Using the same reason-you go poo-poo and pee-pee in the toilet. Even when she is still having accidents. He loves it there too. Hmmmm

Sinus infection

For those of you who don't know what a sinus infection feels like let me share. It feels like someone took a mallet and hit me over and over and over and over right between the eyes.

A pondering on life

This is a question, please post your answer. "When do you believe that life begins, and why?"

A pondering in infidelity

This is a question. Please post your answer. "If you have been unfaithful in a previous marriage, do you have an obligation to tell the next person that you want to marry before the wedding?" "---and/or after the wedding? and why?"

Time

One of the facts of living in this society that bothers me the most is the disregard and disrespect of others time. You go to a doctor's office and you might sit there 15 minutes, or you might sit there 3 hours, but the nurse that is managing those patient's knows how long you are going to have to wait, and they don't tell you. They let you sit there, with your small child, with another appointment to go to, and tell you nothing. This is not because of a bad doctor, just a bad office manager. If a doctor takes 30 minutes on average per patient, their patients should be scheduled 30 minutes apart, not 15 minutes. Another good idea is to tell the patient that they have 15 minutes scheduled with the doctor. That way if they have something that they are not telling the person that makes the appointments they will be able to communicate that 15 minutes might not sufficient. I know that obtaining a doctorate is a monumental achievement that takes years of study, concentration, and sacrifice. But this does not give the person with the doctorate the right to mismanage their time and waste others. For example: I had to leave a doctor's office before the doctor could see me at one point because three hours after my scheduled appointment, 40 minutes into waiting in an exam room naked, my 14 month old daughter stood up on a chair and proceeded to fall straight back onto the hard floor and hit the back of her head. I went straight to her doctor's office and had her checked out and home within an hour. I did have a babysitter scheduled for that visit, but she called and cancelled at the last minute. If I would have rescheduled that day which I had to anyway it pushed my annual and my birthcontrol out 3 months. The doctor's office could not make an exception and use time allotted for something else for my annual. Even when this occurred. I now schedule an entire day to receive an annual. No I cannot meet for lunch. I know my appointment is at 9:15, but I still do not plan to get out of there until 2:00. So, for a 15 minute appointment I must take 6 hours out of my day. That is beyond mismanagement. This is disrespect, disregard for others and unethical. Paying a babysitter for an entire day, when you are not using one everyday, is $30- if you can find someone willing to do it. I need to get a different doctor.

Parental Advice

"----every woman will be more beautiful and that every man will also be as handsome as anyone could imagine. It won't be a situation where one will be stuck with something for eternity that is not acceptable. Right now we have to figure it out on our own. We are given the prophets and the apostles and leadership to tell us among other things that we are not the only ones that this has ever happened to . I encourage one to study and learn and love each other like one loved you when one married one and not like when a conflict comes up. Sometimes little things get to be big things without even trying. I am just giving you the encouragement to have the happiest and most perfect marriage that you are willing to work for. God loves you both the same and is putting you in a situation to become more like him and comfortable in His presence. I know that one will be happy once one realizes that ones happiness in ones own hands. No matter what kind of situation one is in. The people that self destruct are the people that don't realize this and blame their situation on someone else. The ones that avoid blaming others are grateful for the ones around them and their self worth is inside them. One has good and bad upbringing, even so one has to learn these things a little bit at a time. I want you to be boiling over with happiness. Everyone must accept all those inlaws and enjoy them for who they are and not what they do. No one is going to affect your mood for good if you are around the 24 hours a day." Parental Advice